Self Identity
through Hooponopono
By Mary Koehler
I recently received a wonderful note from a friend
congratulating me on my 24th wedding anniversary and
speaking about her own experience with the Self
Identity through Hooponopono process, the ancient
art of Hawaiian problem solving. She wrote, what has
been coming up for me recently is how we CHANGE over
the years from the day we take our vows -
physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually. Do
newlyweds have a clue? I know I didn't. She then
wrote about how practical the process was for her
and how grateful she was for it.
I was struck by her description of the Hooponopono
process as a practical process. The Hawaiians
believe that our purpose here is to let go and allow
LOVE to solve our problems. We have the opportunity
with each situation to take responsibility for the
problem and get out of the way. Imagine going
through the day with a readiness to see each problem
as an opportunity, to let go, to allow the change to
happen and to see where inspiration leads us.
I chuckled remembering her words, looking at my
husband and where my life has led me. I had no idea.
And it seems true we have no idea the change that
will happen for us in ourselves, our relationships,
our families, our work, and in the world. The
Hawaiians believe it is not our job to know how
things should unfold it is LOVEs job, Gods job,
Divinity's job, the Creators job, the Goddesses job
or whatever word you use for that. As they like to
say we are only here to mend ourselves.
Self Identity through Hooponopono sees each problem
not as an ordeal, but as an opportunity. Problems
are just replayed memories of the past showing up to
give us one more chance to see with the eyes of LOVE
and to act from inspiration. Through a variety of
cleaning tools the Hooponopono process allows each
person to take 100% responsibility for the problem,
to let go, and act from inspiration. One of the
wonderful parts of this process is that it takes
only one person to do it.
My husband and I come from a large family and we
gather frequently with extended family. It has been
interesting to me over the years how those
gatherings have changed, since I've been using this
process. Five years ago, there often seemed to be
someone upset or mad about something whether it was
spoken or not. I often found myself at these events
wishing that others would just get along or get over
it. With this process, I started taking
responsibility for my thoughts, for the things that
would come up at these events, and for things that I
imagined might come up. And for the Hawaiians taking
responsibility, meant, cleaning on each of these
things.
The cleaning is all done inside. Taking
responsibility is not taking the blame, or assuming
I am wrong. It is a willingness to respond, to be
answerable to the current memory that is running.
Imbedded in each of the 60 plus cleaning tools is
taking responsibility for the problem and saying,
I'm sorry, please forgive me. We are saying, I'm
sorry, please forgive me to the problem. Often these
problems have been around for many generations. They
show up to give us one more chance to release them.
When we say, I'm sorry please forgive me, LOVE
erases the memory, so that what is right and perfect
can come in. We cannot erase problems: only LOVE can
do that. Have you ever noticed how often you can
ignore, hope, chastise, and get angry and irritated
at a problem, but no amount of shouting, ignoring or
blaming gets rid of it? Its not our job to release
it: only God can do that. And if one person is
willing to take responsibility for a problem,
inspiration can come for all of us.
I've noticed our family gatherings have changed over
the years. People have more fun, small irritations
seem to come and go more easily and best of all for
me, I'm less irritated and feel less like I wish
everyone would just get along. I notice my siblings
and extended family laughing more, people seem less
stressed or worried about the details and we all
seem to come to an agreement more easily. Did others
change? Did I change? Who knows? And with the
Hooponopono process, I don't need to figure it out.
I notice that I more often see my family with the
eyes of LOVE. There is nothing wrong with any of my
family members...I just couldn't see them. With the
Hooponopono process I have the chance to see others
and myself with the eyes of God and let go of how
things should be.
Unfortunately when a problem comes up, we often
start thinking. We react, we think, we react, we
cope, we react and think some more. Then pretty soon
this small problem has built up and there is chaos.
The Hawaiians see thinking as a replayed memory of
the past. We cant help it. We are only where we are.
The memories show up to give us one more chance to
be ourselves. So with each problem we have the
chance to take responsibility, let go of the
thinking and begin the cleaning. We can ask the
question, What is going on in me that this has shown
up right now? We don't need to figure it out. In
taking responsibility we have the chance to set
things right for ourselves, our children, our
families and those we work with.
When a problem comes up and a memory is replaying we
often don't realize it. And the memory playing is
not who we are. For the Hawaiians, who we are, is a
very important question. We are perfect, made in the
image and likeness of God, whole, complete,
timeless. And the memories are not who we are. Have
you ever had that experience of having someone
remind you who you really are, and realize you are
not how you are acting?
I have twins who are 15, and they are wonderful at
reminding me of who I am. I was responding irritably
to one of them not long ago and he looked up at me
and said in a very kind way, Mom I don't know who is
talking to me right now because it doesn't sound
like you. I realized a memory was running and
apologized, and thanked him. He could see that the
grouchy person was not really his mom and was
inspired to take responsibility and speak up.
My husband Kurt is also great at reminding me who I
am. Sometimes when we are trying to make a decision
on something and seem to be at cross-purposes, hell
whisper in my ear very softly, Did you forget we are
on the same side? All I can do is chuckle and let it
go.
He reminds me that the arguing part of me is not
really me. The Hawaiian process of Self Identity
through Hooponopono reminds me who I am whole,
complete, perfect, made in the image and likeness of
love.
One of my favorite cleaning tools is the I love you.
As with all the cleaning tools given in the
Hooponopono process, embedded in each of the tools
is taking responsibility for the problem, saying I'm
sorry, please forgive me and allowing LOVE to
transmute the problem. All we need to do is to have
the thought I love you. I can use this tool when any
problem comes up. I don't even have to have the
feeling of I love you. In fact, I find it most
helpful to use when someone is really bugging me.
All I need to do is have the thought I love you, and
Love will erase the memory, so that what is right
and perfect will flow.
Sometimes, it is necessary to use the tool several
times, or for several days, or even for an unlimited
time, as there may be many memories piled up to be
erased. We are filled with memories of hatred,
death, dying and disease, and the memories may be in
our family, our ancestors or us. We have the
opportunity to be set free. Can you imagine how good
our children could look when the memories are not
passed down and they are free to live from
inspiration? What if we could let go of each problem
that comes up and be in the flow? What if we didn't
have to think about what next, where the people we
were hoping to see or meet just phoned us, and
problems resolved themselves without our needing to
do anything? Self Identity through Hooponopono is a
simple, practical problem solving process that gives
us that opportunity. We have the chance to be our
Divine selves moment to moment and at Peace. to
experience the Peace beyond all understanding.
Reprinted by permission from NETWORK IRELAND Apr-Jul
2004
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